Bodie's Pages
Strange But True Moments From the Bush Administration
The events of recent years make for hilarious fiction. At least, that's what I would have called it had I read of such things just ten years ago: fiction. Sadly enough for us, this isn't fiction, despite being ignored by the mainstream news media. Lest we forget Bush's pledge to bring dignity to the White House, read on.... Please excuse this work-in-progress, more details to follow. Some of the quotes aren't exact, and I'm still not sure whether or not Gannon was a marine, but the essential facts are there.
Mission Accomplished
-
Bush made the sailors and marines wait, had the aircraft carrier drive in circles, so he could fly in by jet for a photo-op. A helicopter would have been safer, less expensive, and quicker.
-
At first the White House claimed that the carrier was out of helicopter range.
-
Then the White House lied about the source of the infamous "Mission Accomplished" banner, claiming that the ship's staff had printed it out and put it up, until a crew member in the ship's print shop pointed out they didn't have the ability to make such a big banner.
-
Then they claimed they had provided the banner at the ship's request, even though no sailor could ever be found who admitted asking the white house to get them such a thing.
-
Finally (they must have been feeling good on Oxycontin) the White House admitted that they had created the banner and ordered the sailors to put it up.
-
Oh yeah, and there were just around 100 U.S. servicemen deaths at that point.
-
Latest news? The white house recently had a video of the carrier landing, with the banner editted out of the footage.
Jeff Gannon - Gay Prostitute Reporter with Exclusive White House Access
Ever hear of him? One of those few elite news reporters experienced and talented enough to be awarded a White House Press Conference pass, the ex-marine gained frequent camera time asking questions like, "Wow, the President is doing such a fantastic job! This war is clearly won, due no doubt to his intellect and character. What is next for our great leader?"
After a period of time acting in such a role, it came out that Mr. Gannon's real name was James D. Guckert, he had no journalistic experience, had never had anything published. When the Secret Service was questioned by some rare journalist with balls about the fake name, they replied that they didn't know anything about it, that Mr. Gannon had been approved by the White House. So some fake journalist with a fake name is in the White House media room? Then his other websites are found, of a gay, pornographic nature. Then a website is found where he advertises his service as an "AGGRESIVE, VERBAL, DOMINANT TOP I DON'T LEAVE MARKS....ONLY IMPRESSIONS." Yah, he's a gay prostitute. Oh, and I can't remember at what point his marine career was debunked. Also turns out he was shown the material regarding Valerie Plame (ya know, the spy they outed in retaliation against her husband), something not even senior Democratic lawmakers were privy to. So let's summarize: a gay prostitute, posing as an ex-marine reporter, gained repeated access to the White House at the President's request. Hmm, maybe it's not odd that this wasn't in the mainstream press too long. This story is so wild, I can't do it justice. Please visit Bartcop's website, at http://www.bartcop.com/1498.htm to read the story, complete with pictures. Gotta love those Marine Corp tightie whities! Hooraw! Even more details at http://www.americablog.com/2005/02/man-called-jeff.html .
Cheney Shooting
Of course more lies. Why can't they ever just admit the truth? Do they like conspiracy theories? So Cheney goes bird hunting on an ultra-elite ranch and manages to shoot a 78 year old man in the face. What happens next?
-
Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong told police the shooting occurred on Sunday, Februrary 12. Multiple other witnesses claim the shooting occurred a day earlier, Saturday. The victim, in his only interview, said he was shot on Friday.
-
The story first was "no way, absolutely not. The Vice-president did not have anything to drink. There was no alcohol on the site." Then it became "there might have been a beer or two in the cooler during lunch." Cheney admits to having a single beer.
-
The investigating officer was denied entry to the crime scene for over 24 hours. His report found several infractions of the law, yet Cheney was not cited.
-
The guy who was shot lied about how serious his wounds were. Turns out a pellet lodged in his heart caused a heart attack several days after the shooting.
-
The ranch owner was appointed as commissioner on the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department by Bush.
-
Forensic tests by experts in the field show the distance between Cheney and his victim was far closer than claimed.
-
Oh, and let's not forget the basic law of hunting: you know what you're aiming at when you pull the trigger. In the hunting community, there is no excuse for violating this tenant. It's not like Cheney was under pressure to bag a bird anyway, hunting for sport on a ranch where they release birds with clipped wings just in front of the hunters. Big time hunting, Texan style!
Mark Foley Page Scandal
"The ex-congressman, if nothing else, is contrite. He says when he gets out of rehab, he wants a fresh start and to turn over a new page." --David Letterman
So Congressman Mark Foley, chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, was banging underage male staff for years, other congressmen knew it, and they conspired to cover it up. Why aren't they all in jail? Foley blamed his problems on alcoholism, sexual abuse by a childhood pastor, and the media, then entered rehab. Congressman Jim Kolbe was also outed as an apparent pedophile during the course of investigating these events, although nothing was proven in a court of law. Also turns out that at least 13 Republican lawmakers have been proven to have known of Foley's habits, through the good ol' email trail. House Speaker Dennis Hastert, in particular, lied about what he knew when. Isn't that conspiracy to break the law, concealing such things?
Terri Schiavo
People in comas should not be used for political campaigning. Their families should not be tortured over the issue. It is impossible to make a diagnosis that a comatose person is not in a vegetative state, simply by watching 30 minutes of a video tape, as did Senator Frist. (The same Frist who still believes AIDS can be transmitted via sweat.) Ted Haggard (see below) was also involved in "saving" Mrs. Schiavo, I believe.
Camilla Banned from White House
That would be Camilla Parker Bowes, wife of Prince Charles. The prince had planned on stopping at the White House during a world tour, until President Bush told aides she wasn't welcome, because she was a divorcee, so it wouldn't be true to his Christian beliefs. Here's one of the links: http://wolfowitz-watch.blogspot.com/2005/03/sundaymirrorcouk-camilla-banned-from.html
Airport Toe Tapping
Another kinky Republican lawmaker, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. This time the guy was arrested for soliciting gay airport sex. Taught me all about Toe Tapping. What will those freaky Repubs teach me next?
Ted Haggard - This guy was once called "Bush's spiritual advisor," meeting with the President on a weekly basis. He had a huge congregation, tons of money, big houses, etc. All the trappings of a successful man of God. Then the gay prostitute he was buying Methamphetamine from (before playing Hide the Sausage) bitched him out over Mr. Haggards anti-gay activities. Mr. Haggard admitted to being an alcoholic and went to a Christian rehab facility for three weeks, which successfully straightened him out. Upon leaving about a month later, Mr. Haggard's spokesman declared his client was "completely heterosexual," cured.
Cat Stevens, Deadly Terrorist
Yes, the aging 60's hippie musician. He's on the terrorist watch list for contributing funds to a group linked to Islamic terrorism, sometime back in the 70's, I believe. He recently tried to fly to Washington, but part way through his presence on the plane was noticed by someone official, so the plane was diverted to Canada and Mr. Stevens subsequently deported back to Great Britain. Seriously. Not sure what time the other 300 passengers got home, nor how long before he was let go.
Nelson Mandela, Nobel Peace Prize Winner and Deadly Terrorist
He was denied a VISA to enter the US as recently as June, 2008, because he was on the terrorist list. He was coming to America in order to accept an award for his peace activities.
Duct tape and tarps
Remember that horseshit? I'm proud to say I didn't buy any, but I know people who did.
Justice Cover-up
Remember when Attorney General John Ashcroft had those really expensive drapes installed to cover the statue of Justice? He was offended by nudity on statues. I bet he beats off to National Geographic articles on Native tribes.
Flight 93 Cover-up
Not a funny subject, sorry, but this needs to be said. Yes, it was shot down. The passengers and crew are still heroes for their efforts, but evidence is very clear as to their ultimate fate. Most recent hearsay is from the top investigator at Guantanamo, who just last week made a comment to the effect that if we hadn't shot down the fourth plane, "it would have hit the dome."
Bush Admits He's a Terrorist
"Any person, organization or government that supports, protects or harbors terrorists is complicit in the murder of the innocent and equally guilty of terrorist crimes." Dubya on May 1, 2003
So why are we still harboring Luis Posada Carriles? Mr. Carriles, probably on behalf of the CIA, blew up a Venezuelan airplane with 73 people on board in order to assassinate a Cuban he didn't like. He's been openly living in Miami for a number of years now, with our government's protection, which has so far refused to honer Venezuela's extradition request. He has also been linked to various other bombings.
I guess right-wing terrorists are ok, ala the U.S.-sponsored Salvadorian death squads, linked to John Negraponte (remember him, and those dead American nuns?), who was recently put in charge of fighting the Iraq insurgency. Gee, ya think he set up any death squads in Iraq? I mean, it is his area of expertise.
List of criminals, including Delay, Foley, Hastert, Abramhoff, Dolittle, Rove, Bush, Gonzalez. This list is going to be way too long, and will require a lot of work on my part.
Pretty funny when Josh Bolten, the guy who once said the U.N. was a waste of time, was appointed by Bush as our ambassador to the U.N. As funny as Health and Human Service's director of Family Planning being a devout Christian who believes teaching abstinence is the best method of family planning. Or the top two directors of PBS being replaced by former FOX news employees. You know what a threat Big Bird is to Bush. I mean, he's so gay!
Honorable mention to Rush Limbaugh, for turning his maid into a drug dealer and taking enough Oxycontin to make himself deaf. Not to mention trips to the Dominican Republic with bottles of Viagra, for sex with underage male prostitutes.
List of those who helped impeach Clinton, meanwhile carrying on affairs themselves. Newt Gringrich, Giuliani, a bajillion others.
Don't forget Iran Contra! The great and holy Gipper sold state-of-the-art weapons to Iran in exchange for the release of our hostages and cash to be used in funding the Contras. And let's not forget he also created and armed the Taliban.